Irreverent opinions of languages in which I have coded.Posted: November 22, 2015
This list served as an interlude to a presentation I gave recently.
- SQL – Most boring / useful
- PL/pgSQL – wtf is this? I have to write database functions in this?
- Bash – Useful and fast. Nobody knows how to write in this.
- C – God. Dangerous. Caused heartbleed bug. Bad language! ::Language runs off::
- Matlab – haha
- Perl – Madness. Fast.
- Ruby – For hipsters / designers. Slow but sexy.
- Mathematica – Designed to clash with every other language’s syntax
- Java – enterpriseCodeThatMakesYouWishYouWereDead (deprecated)
- PHP – [censored]
- Julia – Smart, Sexy, Fast. Innate parallelism.
- Scala – So many features / idioms it pretty much guarantees a month of 12 hour days before you can read more than 50 lines in a row.
- R – Makes $. Errors and warnings written by devious children.